Alternatively titled “A list of people who need to stick their dicks in Dewitt’s mouth”.
This is a 2011 round-up of the ten eleven most popular entries from our Woof Alert series, ranked from the least amount of views to the most. You may have noticed that we crossed out “ten” and wrote “eleven” instead… What’s up with that?
Did we decide to include an extra post, just for the hell of it? Is this some grand conspiracy orchestrated by a top-secret organization of cubs, muscle bears and body hair enthusiasts? The answers await you, if you’re brave enough to find them. In other words? Let’s go fap to some pics of h0t d00dz.
Click through to find out who made the cut:
We wrote: “He looks like your roommate from college who would stumble in at 3 AM shit-faced and subtly hinting that he could use a blowjob. If you like cubby boys, then Erik’s secretly-bisexual-boy-next-door looks, beefy thighs, and deliciously fuzzy ass are probably giving you a rod right now. And you want to shove that rod deep into his pink hole.”
9. DAMIEN STONE:
We wrote: “Holy shit, there’s a werewolf in the pool. And he’s making his way over to fuck Scott Caan….wait, no, that’s Bo Dean. Hairy hunk Damien Stone is the cavefucker who’s bursting out of his speedo to make waves with Bo. He’s today’s “Woof Alert” because he does look like a lycanthrope mid-transition. PORN WOLF!”
8. AARON CAGE:
We wrote: “Maybe we’re just suckers for men who don’t fit the general “bottom” stereotype, yet take it up the ass like they can never get enough. Aaron Cage certainly seems to fit into that category. And if he doesn’t, he’s sure good at faking it on camera! As he slobbers on a hard cock or spreads those fuzzy cheeks, you can’t help but notice that he’s really loving every second of it all.”
We wrote: “Back in the day, I used to have one of those pro-wrestling video games where you could assemble your own customized player. My general tendency was to create this strapping muscle bear with a thick beard, hairy chest and shaved head… Wes is essentially the living, breathing embodiment of this fantastical computer-generated man. It’s kind of blowing my mind that he actually exists, and I keep pinching myself to make sure these photos aren’t appearing to me in a dream.”
6. LOUIS KWONG JR.:
We wrote: “Louis Kwong Jr. is the partner of David Goldenberg, a photographer who’s appeared several times on xhardxtimesx.ru. While it’d probably be an overstatement to call him the most adorable bear on the entire planet, we can’t say we’re not tempted…”
5. PAUL WAGNER:
We wrote: “There’s probably very little we need to write about Paul Wagner… We could mention he’s among the most beautiful of the many, many adult performers we write about. We could mention that this blogger is probably going to spank it to these pics. But we won’t mention that part. Woof.”
We wrote: “That dick looks like some sort of industrial hose. That’s a formidable dick! Meet George. And that’s all we know about him. George. He’s got the slabs of muscle and the sexy fur coat. His penis looks like it could do some hot damage when it’s up in your guts.”
We wrote: “Even though Valentino is one Schick Quattro away from being your standard muscle jock, there was still something about him that screamed Woof Alert. Perhaps it’s just the thick beard he’s sporting on his face? I mean, when you look at him from the flip side, he’s also a month’s worth of hair growth away from tranforming into a mini muscle bear.”
We wrote: “In this particular scene, Mr. Chase lets it slip that he likes a little pain along with his pleasure… And Brenn breaks out the chains to spice things up! Nice.”
We wrote: “The name Arpad Miklos is practically synonymous with ‘muscle daddy’. I mean, does he really need an introduction? This Hungarian hottie has been fucking on camera since 1995, and he was prominently on BUTT magazine’s American Apparel beach towels. Also, let’s not forget about the scenes he filmed for ! At forty-three years-old, Arpad can still command attention next to men who are nearly half his age. He made our holes twitch when paired with Zach Alexander for ‘s Tales From Last Summer, and now he’s working his magic again with punky bottom Jake Austin. Make sure your cum rag is handy, because you’re going to need it…”
Dodger Wolf: Though Arpad was the most-viewed post written in 2011, a December 2010 post about Dodger Wolf received more traffic than any other Woof Alert this past year. See more of Dodger in our posts about “sex voices” and fantasizing about your boss.
• The Best Asses of 2011
• Leo Forte: Cocksucker of The Year
• Quickie: Are These The Sexiest Men of 2011?
• Flashback Friday: 2011’s Best Porn From Way Before 2011
• Drawn To You: Best of 2011
• Secret Sex: The Sexiest “Unsexy” Men of 2011
• Manhunt’s Man of The Year: Who Took The Prize?
• Bi The Way: The Best Bisexual Action of 2011