Before you go jumping down our throats, we are not making a grand declaration that these are the sexiest men of the year. Take note of the question mark in the title of this post! These are merely a few suggestions, compiled from the most popular Quickie posts of 2012. Don’t take ’em so seriously! Just look at the pretty pictures and jerk off with us.
Last year, gay porn star Paddy O’Brian topped our list. Will he do it again? There’s some stiff competition with Seth Fornea, Julian Gabriel, Lucas Malvacini and Quinn Jaxon in the game. You might be surprised to find out who made (and didn’t make) the list!
Click through for this year’s most popular Quickie posts:
We wrote: “Hairy fellow Armando gets very naked in the sixth volume of . By the end of this post, you will see every inch of his body that’s above the kneecaps. Yes, that means you’ll see his dick! And his butt! I wasn’t bullshitting when I said you’d see every inch (with the exception of his taint and the inches on the inside of his ass crack).”
9. LUCAS MALVACINI:
We wrote: “Third time’s the charm? Yes, you’ve seen Lucas Malvacini here (or here) in the past. We can’t help it that we keep posting about him! If he stopped being so damn attractive, we’d stop posting about him… But, clearly, that’s not going to happen any time soon.”
8. MAXIMUS THOMAS:
We wrote: “Done! The week is over! Nothing will ever be able to top this picture. The man you see above is eighteen year-old, London-based model Maximus Thomas standing in the middle of the woods, wearing nothing but a hoodie and a pair of sneakers. There might actually be some skimpy briefs under that sweatshirt, but we’re just going to pretend his manhood’s rubbing all up on that fabric.”
7. TONY CAPUCCI:
We wrote: “Tony Capucci is back! Truthfully, I was never a big enough fan to realize that he was missing, but I’m not going to lie—the point in this trailer where he smacks his gigantic bubble butt just might be the best thing that’s happened to me (so far) in 2012.”
6. JULIAN GABRIEL:
We wrote: “It is safe to say that Julian Gabriel has the “it” factor. With his sculpted physique and smoldering gaze, it’s hard to not look at him. He’s so gorgeous that even the most uptight straight guy would have to admit he’s attractive. Sure, they (or you) might not necessarily want to have sex with him, but beauty like this can’t be denied.”
5. KIERAN CONGDON:
We wrote: “Kieran Congdon is only 19 years-old. This is really confusing to us, because most 19 year-olds we know look like this or, more accurately, something that’s not this. Like, did he pop out of womb with a dumbbell in his hands? Did his mother feed him creatine instead of breast milk? These are the great mysteries of the universe.”
4. SETH FORNEA:
We wrote: “We’re tempted to say Seth Fornea‘s the hottest redhead that ever appeared on xhardxtimesx.ru. That would be an incredibly big claim to make, given the existence of Sean Patrick Davey, Danny Harper, Kennedy Carter, Max London, JP Dubois and the extensive list of other gingers we’ve shared with you.
“Yet, even so, this guy’s oozing with so much sex appeal that he almost makes us forget about the other guys… His bright orange bush is the reason the word “firecrotch” was invented. His muscular biceps were seemingly handcrafted to pin us down, as he mounts us and takes us mercilessly. His scruffy face would feel great brushing against our necks… And his thick shaft? Well, you’ll just have to see it to believe it.”
3. PADDY O’BRIAN:
We wrote: “Whether he’s going by the name of Paddy O’Brian or Patrick O’Brien, the man above took top honors as The Best Dick of 2011 and (one of) The Sexiest Men of 2011. Needless to say, you like him! You can say that you don’t like him, but we’re not going to believe you for one second. We have the damn numbers! It’s safe to say that the majority of you would marry this handsome fucker and carry his babies to term (if you could).”
2. JONATHAN LUKE:
We wrote: “Prepare yourself for Jonathan Luke‘s gigantic penis! This 27 year-old, Toronto-based model may or may not be the type of guy who’d turn your head on the sidewalk, but you’d be hard-pressed to not look twice if he strolled by naked in the locker room.”
We wrote: “We haven’t been ignoring you, dear readers! After numerous demands to feature Quinn Christopher Jaxon on xhardxtimesx.ru, we’re finally giving in and plastering his magnificent ass all over these pages. Frankly, it’s not quite clear why we ever resisted writing a post about him.
“Part of it might be lingering resentment that you didn’t share our joy back when he did this shoot. Part of it might be that we met him, and no picture can ever capture his true beauty (and booty-shaking skills). Part of it might be… Oh, fuck it! There aren’t any good excuses.”
• Quickie: Are These The Sexiest Men of 2011?
• Now Presenting: The 2012 Flip-Fucker of The Year
• Now Presenting: The Hottest Cock Sluts of 2011
• Now Presenting: The 2012 “Get Inside Me Now” Award
• The Cock Buffet: Brought To You By 2012
• Flashback Friday: 2012’s Sexiest Men From Before 2012
• Everything Butt: The Best Asses of 2012
• Josh Long: 2012’s Best Human Being
• Vinny Castillo: 2012’s Most Boner-Worthy Straight Guy
• The 50 Most Searchable Men of 2012
• The Locker Room: The Sexiest Athletes of 2012
• Everything Butt: The Best Holes of 2012
• Charlie Harding Is 2012’s Best Butt-Muncher
• Twink Tank: The Best & Sluttiest Boys of 2012
• Underwear Drawer: The Best Briefs, Jocks & Such of 2012
• Woof Alert: The Hottest Hairy Men of 2012
• Celebrity Skin: The Best Naked Male Celebs of 2012
• Popular Demand: The Top 100 Posts of 2011