Katy Perry Is A Dumb, Melodramatic MESS In The “Unconditionally” Music Video

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The verdict is in, my friends. Katy Perry is not a true artist like Mother Monster. The visual for her latest failure “Unconditionally” has arrived, and it’s a flashy affair covered with snow, ball gowns and owls in an attempt to distract you from the harsh truth—Katy Perry is a devious cunt with no soul.

Personally, I have come to terms with the reality that Ms. Perry will never do anything as revolutionary as becoming a bird for the sake of her art, but my naive colleague and former friend Gay Skylar is still deceived by the satanic spell she’s cast with her jizz-stained lips.

When I spotted him writing a post entitled “Katy Perry Slays Pop Enemies With Beauty In Her New Video”, I immediately removed the super edgy promotional ARTPOP wrist restraints from my promotional ARTPOP man purse, then forcibly tied him to his desk chair and shouted in his face, “God makes no mistakes! Except for Katy Perry!”

– Gay Evan

Watch the horrendous music video for “Unconditionally” below:

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