15 Reasons Why Beyoncé Is Secretly A Cat


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Last night, pop superstar Beyoncé surprised fans (and non-fans alike) by releasing her long-delayed fifth studio album on iTunes. The project had been shrouded in mystery since her Super Bowl performance last February, and it turns out there was a good reason for that—videos were discreetly filmed across the world in locations that include Paris, Houston, New York, Sydney, Rio de Janeiro and more.

While this isn’t entirely different from what the singer did with her 2007 album B’Day, the big difference is that (pretty much) nobody saw this coming all at once. Without any pre-release promotion, Beyoncé has foisted our eyes and ears onto her “visual album”, creating a new standard for how modern-day pop artists unveil their music. People are freaking out about this. And with good reason.

With that said, I’m here today to talk to you about something much more important. After carefully studying the new album, I’ve come to the conclusion that Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter is definitely a cat wearing human skin. There is a consistent feline theme running through all of these videos that makes her “” video look like Meow Mix.

Think I sound crazy right now? Well, just wait! You’ll see the truth soon enough.

– Dewitt

Learn why Beyoncé is secretly cat with the helpful visuals below:

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1. This ceramic cat in the “Pretty Hurts” video:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

This is the first of MANY cat references on the project.

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2. I’m sorry, this is a cat:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

“Ghost” also features the lyrics “catcalls on catwalks”.

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3. This is a real cat who makes a cameo in “Haunted”:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

I have a feeling this is Michelle Williams in her true form.

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4. This is basically a screenshot from The Lion King:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

Hands down, she’s better at roaring than Katy Perry.

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5. This is a tiger-print coat from “Blow”:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

Is she wearing the skin of her enemies? Maybe.

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6. This is her putting a dog in its place:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

They edited out the part where she hisses in his face.

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7. This is her inviting you to pet her fluffy fur in “No Angel”:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

But don’t rub her belly too much! She might claw your face off.

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8. This is her grooming herself in “Yoncé”:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

LIKE CATS DO.

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9. This is some weird cheetah lighting from “Partition”:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

Hello! The signs are right in front of us, you guys.

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10. This is her aggressively knocking valuable things off a table in “Jealous”:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

LIKE CATS DO.

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11. This is her crawling toward the camera like a cat in “Rocket”:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

She does this a LOT throughout the entire project. She loves being on all fours. Really.

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12. This is a picture of her claws coming out when she’s scared, taken from “XO”:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

…But that’s not all!

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13. This is a picture of a pink bow representing her real ears:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

The expression is rather cat-like, as well. Like she’s purring.

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14. This is her wearing a collar in “***Flawless”:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

LIKE (SOME) CATS DO.

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15. This is a cat looking at you:

Beyoncé is secretly a cat.

And her album’s on iTunes.

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