Aiden, The New Fratmen Model, Is Not A Real Person (Or He’s From Another Planet)

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The new model was obviously sent to us as a gift from some undiscovered sex planet, where the men are so beautiful that they cause spontaneous ejaculation. His face looks like it should be plastered on the bags of some preppy clothing store in the mall, not appearing on a softcore gay porn jerk-off site. Where did they find this guy? Heaven? The secret farm where Abercrombie and Fitch breeds their sex slave “greeters“?

I refuse to believe he is a real, regular human being. There’s absolutely no way that’s possible. Genetics can not be this good to one man, then screw the rest of us over and make us look far inferior in comparison. Sure, sure! You can work out to get a good body… But you can’t work out to get a handsome face, or a dick that I want to hop on an ride all night long!

It’s just not fair. It’s just not fair.

– Dewitt

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Witness Aiden’s incomprehensible, intergalactic beauty below:

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