BEHOLD: The Most Magnificent Ass To Ever Grace Instagram!

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It’s space ass! Because it’s out of this world! These big, beefy, mouth-watering mounds of butt belong to Instagram’s . They’re luscious. How do I get my entire body up them? I will settle for my cock. And my face.

You don’t understand. But you will. This ass has THE WORLD hypnotized. Perhaps you’ve seen the billboards in Times Square? The giant paper mache ass erected behind the Hollywood sign? The ass praises written upon the Great Wall of China? HIS BUTTOCKS CARVED UPON THE MOON? GET INTO THIS ASS.

Get into this ass IRONING:

Get into this ass WIGGLING:

Get into this ass PUTTING THE DAMN DISHES AWAY:

Cristian, if you’re reading, we would love to get some even sexier pics. We can promise you goods and services in return. Think about it and contact me at Just put “I HAVE THE UNIVERSE’S MOST GLORIOUS BADONKA DONK” in the subject line. I’ll get it.

– J. Harvey

Photo credit:

Feast your eyes upon the butt that the planet wants to feast on below:

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