Bryan Hawn Should Stop Teasing & Just Do Gay Porn Already.

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Oh, hell no! I am so done with this shit. Earlier this week, a colleague sent me a link to Bryan Hawn‘s new “parody” of Miley Cyrus‘ “” music video, which looks less like a parody than an excerpt from one of ‘s “Humpmaster” compilations… Not that there’s anything wrong with that! I’m the last person to slut-shame another dude on the internet, but in this instance, I sort of want to prude-shame him for not throwing that blanket off and blowing a huge-ass load directly into his own mouth.

Or, hell, maybe we should take it one step further? The way he’s squirming around on that bed, it seems like the prelude to seven dudes busting into his bedroom and pumping his muscular ass one-by-one. Basically, Mr. Hawn should just move into the Sketchy Sex apartment complex and shampoo his hair with semen (or whatever those sex-starved whores do with themselves). He should take a lesson from Chris Crocker and milk his soon-to-fade YouTube fame for what it’s worth.

– Dewitt

Watch Bryan Hawn basically doing gay porn below:

Bryan Hawn should do gay porn.

Bryan Hawn should do gay porn.

Bryan Hawn should do gay porn.

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