Celebrity Dick: Is That Really Alexander Skarsgård’s Cock?


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HBO’s current critical darling, Big Little Lies, is a star-studded miniseries about the scandalous (and rather dangerous and dark-sided) lives of the richie riches in Monterey, California. True Blood’s Alexander Skarsgård (don’t tell me you don’t remember Erik Northman, sexy Viking vampire sheriff) plays Nicole Kidman’s asshole abuser husband. (Unfortunately, it doesn’t have an effect on his STUNNING good looks.) In the latest episode, a seduction turns violent and yadda yadda yadda, like I said – dark-sided. But it involves Alexander Skarsgård’s cock just SWINGING from his shorts. Nicole handles it at first, but then he gets violent and it’s just OUT THERE. This big Teutonic sausage. Did the Teutons have sausages? Anyway, divorcing the cock from the severity of the scene, do we think it’s real? Cuz’ Skarsgård gave us a quick glimpse of full-frontal during his True Blood stint. And, comparing the two pics, the dicks don’t seem to match up. But we have to consider tumescence, angle, you know, all the considerations dick detectives have to take into effect when investigating these matters.

Here’s Alexander’s wang from that True Blood episode:

And here it is from Sunday night’s Big Little Lies (ain’t nothing little about it):

So, they’re different right? Are we thinking Dirk Diggler from Boogie Nights stunt-peen? Let me know by taking the survey and leaving any additional thoughts in the comments!

Michael Xavier


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