Celebrity Skin: Nick Offerman’s Penis

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I wouldn’t mind seeing it, would you? My weird crush on Parks and Recreation star Nick Offerman has been well-documented on xhardxtimesx.ru. I’ve written about jizzing on his face. I’ve written about him jizzing on my face. And I’ve written an entry with his face covered in jizz (along with nineteen other male celebrities of varying degrees of sexiness). I’m sorry that I’m not sorry I want to sit on Ron Swanson‘s dick while he takes swigs of whiskey and eats a rib eye steal with his bare hands. It’s human nature. Sometimes a man just wants to be with a manly man who knows his way around a wood shop.

Oh, also? I’m legitimately sorry that I deceived you with the title of this post. While Nick Offerman does show his penis in Los Angeles band FIDLAR‘s new music video, it’s clearly a fake dick that was thrown in for shits and giggles. Lucky for us, he briefly showed his real eq1uipment in an episode of Deadwood. I’ve included a screenshot below for those of you who may or may not be interested, as well as those of you who don’t want to admit you’re interested.

– Dewitt

See Nick Offerman’s real and fake penises, then watch him pee on everything below:

Nick Offerman is sexy and you just have to deal with that.

Nick Offerman's (fake) penis

Nick Offerman naked, showing off his dick on Deadwood.

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