Vintage Gold: Centurians of Rome

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The history of this John Christopher classic,  [sic], is almost more interesting than the movie itself. The legend goes that this film was actually funded by robbing a Brink’s security guard to the tune of almost 2 million dollars.  Lloyd’s of London even filed a claim for partial ownership of this movie, and the title went down in history as the most expensive gay porn ever produced, by 1981 standards.  Check out this storyline:

Demetrius and Octavius are Roman countrymen sold into slavery for not paying their taxes during Emperor ‘s reign. Demetrius is purchased by the Emperor and taught to be a “good slave” by Argus while Octavius is claimed by a sadistic commander. The commander wants the bound Demetrius but is refused. Octavius sneaks in while the guards are asleep and frees Demetrius.


Yaas!  Slaves? Taxes? Sadistic Commanders? ALL the things!

Thank goodness for RetroMales bringing this back up to my attention because I might never have seen it otherwise!  I’m gonna include parts 1 and 2 in this post so you can really get a feel for all of the work and thought that went into creating this masterpiece (note the purloined Star Wars title sequence):

That was shockingly hot. And also pretty weird. But also hot. I’m trying to figure out where I can buy one of these ‘may as well be naked’ roman underpants/loincloths. Watch part two while I do that:

I mean, right??? That’s intense! They actually made a whole set and got costumes and wrote a script! What the hell, today’s porn!? Where’s the 2016 equivalent of this?!

You can watch the entire film at RetroMales (in addition to a bunch of other shockingly sexy shit).

I don’t think I’m gonna be able to enjoy any modern stuff for the rest of the day. :/

– tyler

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