Everything Butt: The Most Astonishing Holes of 2013

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Welcome to the 2013 “Butthole of The Year” countdown! Before you move on, I should stress that this countdown should be taken lightly. There are surely some worthy holes that I left off this list, and truth be told, there may even be some on here that don’t deserve their spot in the top ten. Much as I’d like to be, I am not the master of all buttholes. It’s hard to make a list like this when the subjects being scrutinized are presented by different studios with very different standards. Then, you also have to take into account personal taste. While I like ’em hairy, smooth and everything in between, there isn’t a general gay porn fan consensus on what’s categorized as “hot”.

(See last year’s list here.)

With that said, I’m pretty satisfied with (most of) this list. It’s killing me that I had to leave off someone like, say, Tommy Defendi or nearly every single Bel Ami model in existence, but I had a good time strolling down Butthole Memory Lane and saying hello to a few of my favorite neighbors. Hopefully, you’ll have a good time too! (You will.)

– Dewitt

Photo credit:

Take a look at the most astonishing holes of 2013 below:

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10. RYAN ROSE:

Ryan Rose

Um, I guess? I’ll admit that I was put off on Ryan Rose after it was revealed that he his ex-boyfriend Bobby Hart. There was also that whole fiasco where an “imposter” became our Manhunt Man of The Week, and then Ryan himself denied that he ever had a profile. It was probably a simple misunderstanding. But geez. That was confusing.

Despite my feelings, one of our readers offered a ringing endorsement for Ryan’s flip-fuck with Trenton Ducati in ‘s . You can watch the clip , and if you need further proof of the beauty of Ryan’s butthole, it’s been suggested that you peruse his account (where I found the lovely image above).

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9. SLATE STEELE:

Slate Steele

Slate would have been ranked higher if he hadn’t appeared in the worst gay porn trailer of 2013. Whether he was getting fucked by Devilish Desire or Johnny Torque, I was hypnotized watching his impeccably smooth pucker stretch open. Remember that time he got fucked on a bouncy castle? I forgot about it, but I’m still kind of jealous that happened to someone who’s not me.

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8. KAYDEN GRAY:

Kayden Grey

I’ve only recently become infatuated with Kayden’s butthole. It wasn’t until his scenes with Paddy O’Brian and Damien Crosse that I had to do a double-take and realize there was more to this man than his boyish look and fat, uncut cock. If I ever met Kayden Gray, I don’t think I could resist burying my face between his cheeks and eating him out until he tells me to stop… Which would probably be immediately, because what human being introduces himself with a rimjob?

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7. CALEB STRONG:

Caleb Strong

I casually made a reference to Caleb Strong having the “Best Butthole of 2013” back in June. My feelings sort of faded until I saw this picture again and remembered that remarkable ring of hair surrounding his ass lips. did an excellent job showcasing Caleb’s goods in that scene with Austin Wolf, to the point where I could almost taste what it’d be like to give him a thorough tongue-fucking.

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6. JOSH LONG:

Josh Long

A few days after making this list, I realized something very, very embarrassing—I had only included nine people in this top ten. Luckily, I had also realized that I neglected to include Josh Long in the mix. Even though he announced his early retirement from the industry back in March, his furry little ass made a big impression on me in 2013. He didn’t even have to get fucked for me to blow an explosive load right over my shoulder. The mere sight of his hole was enough for me.

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5. JAY JONAS:

Jay Jonas

This twink with an elastic anus only made one appearance on xhardxtimesx.ru this year, but he made a lasting impression on me thanks to pictures like this. It says something that his hole still looks pretty, even when it’s stretched open wide enough to fit the entire population of the United States.

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4. SHAWN WOLFE:

Shawn Wolfe

It’s no secret that Shawn Wolfe was one of my favorite gay porn performers of 2013. This was, of course, even more true whenever he bottomed (even if his scene with Jimmy Fanz remains in my top ten of the year). Shawn gave up his fuzzy hole for Tommy Defendi, Fabio Stallone, Jimmy Durano, Aleks Buldocek and a few other lucky gentlemen, and I speak the truth when I say that I busted a nut to every single one of those scenes. This bitch better not retire any time soon. I will track him down and fuck him back into the business. Whatever that means.

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3. JOHNNY RAPID:

Johnny Rapid

You’ve got to admit that my dick had a point when he wrote this post. Our dear pal Johnny Rapid has appeared in as a bottom, and his oft-gaping pink hole is just as appealing as when we first saw it. Personally, I’m a fan of the fuzzier model and the way every little follicle gets wet and sticky with lube. Others prefer him shaved bare like a living plastic sex doll.

Either way, Johnny’s hole never fails to accommodate whatever object you throw in its direction. Double penetration? No big deal! More double penetration? Still, no big deal! We could probably make a separate Best of xhardxtimesx.ru list on the top ten times Johnny Rapid was double-penetrated in 2013.

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2. JUSTIN OWEN:

D.O. and Adam Killian

Maybe he’s born with it, maybe it’s Photoshop. Whatever the hell’s the case, Justin Owen‘s graduation from to worked wonders for his butthole reputation. He got to work with both better photographers and better performers who knew how to showcase his, um, assets. There’s a noticeable difference between this and Justin’s scenes filmed with Chris Rockway and Austin Wolf. If he continues at this rate, he’ll be one to watch in 2014.

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1. JIMMY FANZ:

Jimmy Fanz butthole

This is a controversial pick for first place. As you’re likely aware, Jimmy‘s backyard is unruly, out of control and far from the traditional definition of pretty… But that’s precisely what I love about it! It’s got that primal, “come and get it” appeal, calling to mind models like Davis from or Theon from .

While some might say it’s difficult to even see or appreciate his hole amidst that dark forest of fur, I’d argue that the exploration’s part of the fun! Jimmy’s fuzzy pucker has brought pleasure to a long list of tops this year, including but not limited to: Tommy Defendi, Abele Place, Josh Long, Travis James, James Jamesson, Shawn Wolfe, Tom Faulk, Alexander Garrett, Tristan Phoenix and Roman Todd.

I can’t even tell you which of those scenes is my favorite, because they’re all so fucking good. There was a point where I thought about making a Best of xhardxtimesx.ru countdown featuring “My Favorite Scenes of 2013”, but then I realized that half of them would only be on that list because I’m obsessed with Jimmy Fanz’s butthole. He wins—hands down, fingers in, tongues out and dicks stuffed all the way in, balls deep.

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Best of xhardxtimesx.ru 2013


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