ITEM – David Arquette better collect his marbles and cast an eye over at his estranged wife Courtney Cox. She’s been frolicking all over the Caribbean with her Cougar Town co-star Josh Hopkins (above). David could be in trouble. While he’s going on Howard Stern to discuss every inch of their marriage (including the lowdown on their sex life), Court is looking sexy in a bikini for 46 and enjoying paradise with friend Hopkins. Acting like you’ve just been doing whippets in the garage is no way to save a marriage, Dave. Let’s hope he worked out a deal for some of the take of Scream 4. Bitch might need it.
– J. Harvey
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ITEM – One of the best parts of working at is that I get to write about menz all day, and the unusual crushes I have on certain ones. I fucking HEART Joey Mcintyre of New Kids On the Block. I hail from Beantown, and the boys are local heroes (one of them is family btw, but I’m not one to gossip…) here, and I grew up thinking “aww, he’s cute” and then matured to “I want to see his cock as he tells me to suck it in that hot Boston accent.” The whole point of this post is that, in a bid for relevancy and to keep their various mortgages paid, New Kids and The Backstreet Boys have released a single! They’ve been touring together recently and why not cash in? There’s some chick my age (21, thank you) who will TOTALLY pick this shit up on iTunes. Give it a listen here.
ITEM – Remind me to invite glittery peacock Adam Lambert to my next birthday party! Because if I don’t, the girl might get blitzed and show up anyway to attack! Lady Gaga‘s 25th birthday blood orgy was held at Los Angeles’ La Cita Bar, and American Idol‘s very own Liza Minelli found herself without an invite. So he showed up drunk, got in anyway and proceeded to make a fool of himself until Gaga kicked him out. “Adam acted like an animal. He kept jumping up on the tables and chairs and screaming. When they brought the cake out he tried to smear it in Gaga’s face and put a doll from the cake in her mouth,” . He was also alleged to have been fist-pumping (*immature giggle*) so hard while table-dancing that he put a hole in the ceiling. Jeesh, that takes him off everyone’s #FF list and I don’t mean “Follow Friday.” Also, when did Gaga become such a stick in the mud? Last time I saw her she was busting out of an egg and playing the Phantom of the Opera’s organ (*immature giggle*) in a latex dress! Guess it’s for the stage only…
ITEM – We care about you here at xhardxtimesx.ru, so we give you the back, too. Britney Spears dropped her latest album this week and announced her touring plans. But things got tense when Enrique Iglesias all of a sudden announced he wasn’t going to be helping her carry her Starbucks despite the press release. Rumors made the rounds that he had found out at the last second that he was considered to be Brit’s opening act as opposed to an equal draw. The official word from is that “”Enrique didn’t need to do a tour with Britney, as he’s already on a sold out tour. At the end of the day it was better for him to just continue his own tour.” I didn’t think Enrique was big enough to be selling out Europe, but apparently it’s for real. And it’s all because of that song where he says tonight he’s fucking you. Christ, howzabout you buy me a Slushie or something first? Rude!