Gay Ass Gossip: New England Patriots Tight End Aaron Hernandez Is Accused Of Some Shady Murder-Related Shit

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ITEM – And we were just about to stick his ass in “The Locker Room”. New England Patriots tight end (*customary chortle at *tight end*) Aaron Hernandez will reportedly be on an obstruction of justice charge. This is all stemming from a murder investigation into the death of an associate of his, semi-pro football player Odin Lloyd. Lloyd’s body was found near Hernandez’s house in North Attleboro, MA (fun fact – I have cousins who live there!), dead from multiple gunshot wounds. Some other shady lady facts concerning Hernandez’ involvement include him destroying his home surveillance system before cops showed up to search his house, and handing over his cell phone in pieces. This does not look good for Mr. Simpson…I mean Hernandez. Innocent til’ proven guilty however.

On a sad note (for him), he’s cute so prison might not agree with his asshole. Check out more pics of Hernandez in happier (and bulgier) times below.

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ITEM – Taylor Lautner is agile. Or his stuntman is. The walking fap material from Twilight was filmed doing some Parkour moves on the set of his upcoming movie, Tracers. Check out the video below, if you can get withstand the TMZ chickenheads.

I want to be his bike seat.

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ITEM – Below is what happens when David Beckham makes a public appearance in Shanghai. Hopefully Posh wasn’t there. She’s tiny and frail. She would probably end up as the stain on the bottom of a limited edition Hello Kitty pump. 5 people had to be taken to the hospital. Are they counting those Crocs as people?

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