Hot or Not: Anal Beads

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Kyle Butler is my new gay porn obsession because—a) He looks like every other bearded Brooklyn hipsterfuck I’ve ever wanted to bang, b) He is a total bottom whore, and c) There really don’t need to be any other reasons.

After kicking off his career with , this fuzzy cum-guzzling wonder has recently been making appearances on other sites like and . The latter scene shows him getting into all sorts of sweaty action with modern dick-flick legend Matthew Rush. There’s mutual oral, swapping rimjobs, pounding ass… And anal beads.

The last part of that sentence was italicized because—a) I’m horrible about overusing italics, b) It gave me a good lead-in to this paragraph, and c) Anal beads make me uncomfortable. I can’t really explain why, but they do! They remind me of aliens or who do beading projects. Perhaps I’m close-minded, but objects inserted into your butt should appear somewhat phallic. Last time I checked, dicks don’t look like .

Alas, my opinion isn’t the only opinion in the world, and I fully understand that anal beads serve the purpose of loosening up a bottom’s hole. That said, is anyone particularly turned on by them? Tops, do you like sticking them in a guy? Bottoms, do you like the sensation of having them slide in (or out)? Let me know.

– Dewitt

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