Who is the sexiest man of 2012? We already gave you one possible answer, but just like last year, there are two options for you to choose from. The list you’re about to view contains the top ten posts from our beloved xhardxtimesx.ru Wood series. Just to be clear, we had nothing to do with the order these individuals are ranked. It’s all based on popularity.
This year’s title could go to anyone from adorable model Colby Melvin to cereal-sexual porn star Cody Cummings. While there are a few guys you’ll expect to see on here, there are also another few you may have forgotten about until now… But what the hell are you waiting for? Stop reading, and go look at the list!
Click through to see this year’s top ten most popular xhardxtimesx.ru Wood posts:
10. ROB GRONKOWSKI:
We wrote: “Dewitt already gave you his pick, now it’s my turn. Go Pats! We’re in Boston, what do you expect? I just realized that I haven’t even gotten invited to a Madonna Half-Time Show Viewing Superbowl Party yet! What gives? I guess my friends started reading xhardxtimesx.ru and realized exactly how obnoxious I am.
“In the spirit of Sunday’s big game, here’s a local hero that I want to have fuck magic with. It’s tight end (I’ll say) Rob Gronkowski. Granted, “Gronk” isn’t great with the judgement, and (while cute) looks a little herp derp in the face. However – BODY.”
9. RYAN STACK:
We wrote: “Ryan Stack is a man who needs no introduction. He’s the current number one contender on The Ten, with nearly 400 votes separating him from his nearest competitor. He was runner-up on our list of The Best Dicks of 2011. Not to mention, he’s hairy, British, uncut andhandsome beyond belief.
“We’re featuring Ryan as the xhardxtimesx.ru Wood, because… Well, do you really need to ask? just released another hardcore scene with him, and this time he’s fucking former Everything Butt subject Patrick Dunne (whose nipples are out of control, in a good way). We sincerely hope there’s more where this came from.”
8. MARC BUCKNER:
We wrote: “What qualifies Marc Buckner to be this week’s xhardxtimesx.ru Wood? Well, for starters, I almost wrote an entire post about him, based solely on the first and last picture in this set. That’s powerful stuff! When two pictures of your bare torso alone get me horny enough to do unnecessary work, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re highly attractive…
“Lucky for you, I wound up finding seven (technically eight) more shots of Mr. Buckner, so you’ve got a few more images to throw into that ‘spank bank’ folder you keep on your computer’s desktop. Don’t act like we don’t know about your spank bank! Every porn-loving man has a secret (or not-so-secret) spank bank. It’s one of life’s universal truths.”
7. CODY CUMMINGS:
We wrote: “You can say whatever you want about gay-for-pay(ish) porn star . At the end of the day, eighty percent of us are silently masturbating to his pics in the dark and (maybe) hating ourselves, while the rest of the world complains about his alleged homophobia, love of vagina, , etc.
“In fact, a decent portion of people in the latter group are also masturbating to his pics in the dark and (definitely) hating themselves. That’s just the way it goes! Cody has a mesmerizing dick, great body, sweet low hangers, nipples I want to eat for dinner and an ass that’s begging to be fucked (yet it will likely never get fucked). This combination is extremely hard to resist.”
We wrote: “Was it really necessary to include all twenty pictures of Kip in this post? Absolutely. Because they’re all fucking perfect. This man looks like Nick Sterling‘s hot younger brother, and we’re fairly certain that we’d masturbate to a close-up pic of his left toe.
“So without further ado, please drop your pants and enjoy this edition of the xhardxtimesx.ru Wood. We sure as hell did! Minus the whole “dropping our pants” part, because that’d be awkward for our colleagues at headquarters.”
We wrote: “Miles Davis Moody is one of those people you’ve been lusting after for a while now (even if you don’t know it yet). He’s appeared in the videos for Jennifer Hudson‘s “Where You At” and Jonny McGovern‘s “Dickmatized”, and you can currently spot him shaking his bulge in ‘s brand new “Pink Paradise” promo.
“As if his eyes alone weren’t enough to make your taint tingle, just wait until you feast your eyes on his package! After that, you’ll want to feast on something else…”
4. JACK MACKENROTH:
We wrote: “Based on the rules of reality television, former Project Runway contestant Jack Mackenroth‘s fifteen minutes of fame should have ran out a long time ago. Alas, through the powers of activism and being absurdly attractive, he’s managed to keep our attention for the past few years.”
3. MARKUS RICCI:
We wrote: “I’m not even going to build Markus Ricci up, because some crazy-ass queen will inevitably kill all of our boners by saying something stupid like, “I see hotter guys than him on the subway everyday!” Um, if this is true, what fucking subway are YOU taking?
“We get it! Some of you aren’t attracted to overly sculpted, absurdly handsome guys, but can you at least admit that Marcus is beautiful on a purely aesthetic level? While we’re talking, can you also admit that you want him in your bed, on all fours and ready to get rammed like a muscle bottom slut? Go on! Admit it.”
2. COLBY MELVIN:
We wrote: “Colby Keller, Colby Jansen and now Colby Melvin? Clearly, we here at xhardxtimesx.ru are on a mission to designate “Colby” as the universally-recognized, sexiest name of all time. The latest addition to this week’s Colby trilogy will appeal to those of you who prefer your men on the smoother, prettier and less hardcore-porny side.
“There’s a chance you’ll remember Colby Melvin from his appearance in ‘s ‘Jockstrap Cowboys‘. He spent the majority of the clip making out with one of the other models, so there’s also the possibility that you didn’t notice him with all that spit-swapping action happening on set…
“Either way, consider this your official introduction! xhardxtimesx.ru, meet Colby Melvin. Colby Melvin, meet a bunch of people who will inevitably want to sleep with you, marry you and cuddle with you until the end of time. They might want to do other obscene things with you, but I’ll let them tell you about that in the comments section.”
1. BO ROBERTS:
We wrote: “It would not be 100% inaccurate to say that Bo Roberts is the most attractive man to ever grace the pages of xhardxtimesx.ru. True, it might not be 100% accurate to make that statement either, when you take into account such beauties as Julian Gabriel Hernandez, Lance Parker, Benjamin Godfre, Colby Erskin, Seth Fornea… And, well, we could go on for days with that list! We’ve written about a lot of hot guys.
“Of course, this isn’t a contest. Bo Roberts is an attractive man, regardless of where he rests in the official hierarchy of xhardxtimesx.ru hotness. Between the sexy gaze, the heartbreaking smile, the hairy torso and the utterly stunning physique, we couldn’t even begin to tell you what we love most about him.
“(That’s a lie! His thighs are what we love most about him.)”
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