Because their gear is
better than what you’re wearing right now.
Oh, . How I love thee. A miracle of modern branding and adult marketing, Fort Troff has risen to adult industry prominence in a verrry short amount of time, billing itself now as the “#1 USA Gay Toy Store,” (which sounds a little bit like the USA #1 Deli Cigarettes Lotto place around the corner from my apartment, but is still a fantastic compliment when you look at how many shitty online sex toy stores there are).
So I was legit jazzed when they asked if I wanted to review some of their underwear (MAL’s coming up and I needed some new gear!) for xhardxtimesx.ru. Full disclosure: I’ve ordered a TON of stuff from FT in the past because they send out these really convincing email blasts with suuuper graphic photos of their stuff on the hottest guys, basically ever, and I’m always on the hunt for ways to expand my cockring collection. But they did comp these undies for me in exchange for a fair review. So now you know that. Let’s see how it went:
The FT GRUNT Boxer Jock
I really liked this pair. The friendly FT folks (seriously, their customer service is just beyond. It’s one of the main reasons I’d rather go here than ebay or wherever else you can buy assless underwear, cockrings, and anal bleach from the same store) sent me the Ice Blue in Large. I have a mental block about considering myself a ‘large’ but if you’re thinking about these, do scale up. I have a bit of an ass (see that gif up above), and that usually seems to be what drags me into a large from a medium, and the large was juuuuust right for me. They have a complete size chart .
The Boxer Jock is super comfortable and you sort of forget that it has no butt after a few hours. I definitely got some side eye in the locker room this week at the gym, because IDGAF what people at the gym think about my underwear and I stood there checking my phone while people tried to figure out wtf I was wearing.
The pouch on both this and the trunks is really what sealed it for me. I wrote a while back about how modern underwear and clothing is built to smash all your best parts flat and neutral. It’s uncomfortable, unsexy, and puts your brain in a place that neuters the importance of your cock and balls. Fort Troff don’t fuck around.The pouch on both pairs is made of a slightly different material – a sort of mesh – that expands way easier than the body fabric to accommodate your D&B no matter is(personally, I wear one all day, every day, so my bulge is prominent and substantial and regular underwear does little to nothing to support that). These guys get why 1. having a pouch matters, and 2. why allowing that pouch to expand matters even more.
Rating: A | They’ll go into regular rotation. Probably not for a night at the opera, but I’ll definitely be taking them to MAL (and probably back to the gym locker room). Comfortable, sexy, accommodates your best parts, front AND back.
The FT GRUNT Sport Trunk
Here’s my advice to the guys at Fort Troff: figure out a way to white label these products to sell them as full-on athletic gear instead of sexy/fetish gear. I garuntee that (straight) guys would fucking love to wear these, even if they don’t consider themselves “into” underwear. These are right on the cusp of being compression shorts, but are still comfortable enough to wear all day long.
That fucking pouch, though, makes all the fucking difference. It’s like having your nuts gently clasped and cradled for 8-10 hours at a stretch. Just pulling these on and feeling that pouch snugly wrap around my cock was almost enjoyable enough to justify buying them right there.
If they could figure out how to make these in more neutral colors and without the FT GRUNT band, they’d put Under Armour out of business. Every straight guy who thinks he’s a ‘trainer’ or an ‘athlete’ would have 50 pairs of them. As it is – I’m wearing this pair right now (for the second day in a row) and have no plans of taking them off.
Rating: A+ | These will be in my main rotation and I will probably favor them more than most of the underwear I have. They seem pretty solidly built, so it’ll take some time before I wear them out. But I’m up to the challenge.
I highly recommend both of these and FT has them packed up right now at 3 pairs for 60 bucks in what they’re calling their 3+1 Super Kit (3 pairs and a free cockring). As a major advocate for all cockrings all days, a free Silicone Grunt ring is enough to make it worth my while, but that add on brings the per-pair cost to a little over 16 bucks. You’re not gonna beat that basically anywhere. , and soak up the beautiful Colton Grey modeling the full line and being beautiful.
Happy 2016, underwear fans.