The Legend of Johnny Rapid & The Enchanted Man-Taint

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Once upon a time, there lived a young man named Johnny Rapid. He ventured to a gay porn studio on his eighteenth birthday and stretched his asshole wider than anyone would think is humanly possible. The casting agents were intrigued.

“We have never seen a boy your age possess so much erotic power in his anus,” they told him. “Can you start next Wednesday? How do you feel about DP?”

Within months, perhaps even weeks, our hero became one of the most sought-after gay porn stars on the web. There were nearly as many people Googling his name as there were for Cody Cummings… Except people actually liked him! He was the guy we all wanted to and then take home to our mother for milk and cookies.

But not everyone loved him. One night, in a frantic rage of jealousy and insecurity, an evil fairy queen emerged from a world called “Irrelevance” to complain about Johnny’s thick bush and magnificently hairy taint.

“You’re a twink!” he shouted in anger. “Twinks aren’t supposed to have hair down there!”

Shortly after these words were uttered, a deep, guttural laugh was heard around the globe. While it sounded an awful lot like Johnny, that would have been impossible! His lips were firmly wrapped around Ryan Rockford‘s cock at the time the laugh was heard!

Yet impossible things are happening every day. The truth of this tale is so remarkable and thoroughly unbelievable, it’s sure to attract skeptics to the table. Hell, we wouldn’t have believed it ourselves, if we hadn’t seen it with our own eyes…

The laugh came from Johnny’s taint.

Not just that, but each follicle of hair sprung out like an octopus’ tentacles and reached out for the evil fairy queen! His attempts to escape were fruitless and entirely in vain. He was captured, never to be heard from again.

Legend has it that the evil fairy queen was swallowed by Johnny’s flesh-hungry butthole. We’ll never know for sure, but it’s been said that if you jerk off hard enough to any of Johnny Rapid’s scene… You’ll hear his fuzzy young taint laughing back at you in approval.


– Dewitt

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