Want To Know If Your Next Door Neighbor Would Bang You For Money? There’s An App For That!*

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For the longest time, I told myself that I’d never hire an escort because I could easily find a guy to fuck for free. Today, it dawned on me that this is a total sack of crap. The gay hook-up scene, even on , can get a bit tiresome with all the games people play, cancelled appointments and constant effort to get a pair of lips wrapped around your shaft.

Want to know the real reason I’ve never hired an escort? Because I’m a cheap bastard.

To be entirely frank, if I had a ton of disposable income to throw around, I would get off on the power of reaching into my wallet, logging onto a site like and finding the nearest piece of ass to satisfy my needs. Whenever I’d get in the mood for a thick daddy dick to ram my hole—and everyone I’m chatting with turns out to be a bottom—I’d just pick up the phone, set the time and prepare to be dominated the way I need to be.

But I’m getting ahead of myself! I’ve never actually explained to you the purpose of . It’s essentially like (or any of the other lesser, location-based mobile apps) mashed together with . Wherever you are, you can immediately find out where the closest escort is. He could be sitting right next to you at the same restaurant, or he could be a short drive away from you. It takes out a bit of the guesswork, so you can focus on what’s really important—getting him in front of you as soon as humanly possible.

I’m intrigued! And, hey, maybe one day I’ll get a chance to try it…

* That title is misleading! isn’t technically an app, but a website that works in a similar fashion to mobile hook-up apps.

– Dewitt

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